Daddy’s and In-Loves, (In-laws).
Probably the greatest gift my Father left me was an adoration and respect for Women, ALL women! His own dear mother passed away during childbirth when he was just 15 years old. He never forgot the impact that it had upon his life. He always respected and held my own mother upon a pedestal all of my life. The very worst sin I could ever commit in his sight was to disrespect our Mother! That great teaching taught me to always idealize and see Women, all women, for what they really are, “God’s greatest creation, (Pres. Hinckley). Pres. McKay asked the brethren once if they would like to know what their first Priesthood interview with the Savior would be like at their death? He then said, “Let me assure you, Brethren, that some day you will have a personal priesthood interview with the Savior, Himself. If you are interested, I will tell you the order in which He will ask you to account for your earthly responsibilities.
“First, He will request an accountability report about your relationship with your wife. Have you been actively engaged in making her happy and ensuring that her needs have been met as an individual?
“Second, He will want an accountability report about each of your children individually. He will not attempt to have this for simply a family stewardship but will request information about your relationship to each and every child.”
President McKay then went on and mentioned other priorities, (quoted by Elder Robert D. Hales, as Presiding Bishop of the Church, at a BYU devotional assembly, March 15, 1988.)
There is not a day of my life that in my morning prayers I do not consider this Priesthood Interview with the most important person in my life! I have tried to teach my own sons what my earthly and Heavenly Fathers have taught me! I don’t think there is anything that I could model or teach them of any greater importance. I begin every ‘marriage enrichment’ class with this most basic of all ‘Heavenly Truths’. (I have had boys check out of the class after such teachings, You see Satan is strong and will fight to the death, our death, the most important and poignant truths! The war of the sexes is Satanic inspired and rages in force today.)
I have observed the silent wars between mothers and daughter-in-laws. I have seen women tremble and wonder what their relationships with their mother and daughter-in-laws will be like. I have observed how my own sons have dated and chosen their respective mates. One of the greatest ‘Doctrinal principles’ is “Light attracts Light”. I have had boys ask me, “Why don’t you teach girls that they must also put my needs first”? The truth is I don’t have to. I have found that if men treat women the way God desires, women seem to already know their ‘nurturing roles’.! (Perhaps why they are God’s Greatest Creation?) A few years ago there was a worldly teaching that was called, “Fascinating Womanhood”. Which was the opposite persuasion. It had women put men first. For me it ignored the order taught in 2neph. 2: 11,14. “there must be an ‘opposition’ balance but one is the ‘actor, (balancer) and the other ‘acted upon’ (balanced). For me it matters which comes first. The Proclamation on family teaches that as a man I must take responsibility for balance, in other words, I must ‘provide’ ‘protect’ and ‘nurture’ first, then my wife is free to ‘nurture’ fully. If she does not then I am off the hook as far as my ‘stewardship’ is concerned. (I have never found a women to not do so if the man will ‘nurture’ and take responsibility from a position of ‘strength’.)

Both of my sons have chosen strong and loving wives much like their mother! They are very different each being their own person. I recognized and fell in love with Angie, (in an appropriate way) before Braydon ever met her. (She was a student of mine as a Sophomore in high school.) I mentioned to her at the time that I would love for her to meet and date my son. I had Brett in mind as he was older. (Braydon and Angie share a birthday on Feb. 8th, 1977) She has been a wonderful loving daughter to and for me ever since. Shari loves her as a daughter also, so much for ‘mother-in-law fears’.
Pres. Spencer W. Kimball said once, “Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days…will happen to the degree that the WOMEN of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that they are seen as DISTINCT AND DIFFERENT…..in HAPPY ways….from the women of the world.” Likewise I believe that this “distinction, difference, and Happiness, does in large part depend upon the men in their lives taking the major responsibility for their, (women’s) happiness and needs! I watch my sons both do this to the best of their abilities. I watch my son-in-loves do this to the best of their abilities! We are men, after all, and so, we bungle it a lot of the time, but when we get it right, guess who gets the best end of the deal? Kim had Shari and I up to dinner the other night. What a fun enjoyable evening!! She is not just a wonderful Mother, and cook but inside, one of the most outstanding women I have ever known! Angie spends so much of her day thinking and serving we that live next door to her! I don’t have to wonder what my Eternal Mother is like. I watch my beautiful wife, daughters, daughter-in-loves, sisters! They are “the Mothers of ALL LIVING!.” As much as my Father-in-Heaven ,I long to be with my Heavenly Mother again. I am so very grateful for the wonderful women in my life that exemplify her everyday, in everyway, for me!

"Daddys and Daugthers"

With apologies to my darling nieces, (my wonderful brother's daughters and to my darling Siri), I would like to pontificate on something very near to my heart of late. To those I just apologized to please let me testify that though you may not be in their presence, you ARE IN THEIRS, I don't think this, or wish this, or hope this, I testify to you that I KNOW THIS! Sometime in person I will explain myself if you so desire--just ask. This blog entry is the result of the wonderful, awesome, deeply appreciated service and love my two beautiful daughters have rendered me this past month. Tara flew clear from Colo. Springs, leaving her little family, to be with me in my great hour of need. Tiff has spent countless hours this past month, "walking the dog'. I will never be able to repay either of them for their love and support and constant never ending love! Tiff doesn't just, 'walk the dog', she spends countless hours, nursing, loving, building and nurturing me. President Hinckley was right. "Women is God's supreme creation". Of course my sweet Shari is always here, but then she has to. Thank you Tiff and Tara!! I will be indebted to you forever, to "infinity and beyond", as Easton would say.
Angie told me something that brought a tear to my eye, the other day. (It doesn't take much!) Braydon was going out of town for the weekend and so Natalie, his 9 year old had him wear a special tie around his neck all day before he left so that while he was gone she could wear it and "smell her daddy when ever she wanted to feel close to him". He did and she did, said Angie, when ever she was home, (not at school) she had the tie around her neck! Is that a sweet story, or what? Can you now feel why I titled this, "Daddy's and daughters?

"Brain Fart".

I've had a bit of a 'set back'. "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!" Monday I had an appointment with my wonderful brain surgeon, Dr. Fultz. He released me to full exercise again, which was my greatest dream, somehow I know that my complete recovery depends upon that rather than more 'pills'. He took me off my 'dirt pills', (my description of pills that make me feel like dirt, i.e. "anti-seizure pills".) Saturday I was in my living room talking with Tiff and she all of a sudden looked at me with a complete 'startled glow on her face' with those big eyes and says, "Dad you are scaring me". I tried to think of what I might have said that could illicit such a reaction but couldn't cognate anything that might have caused her such consternation. Its when I asked, "Tiff, Pres. Hinckley died. Who is the new Prophet?" That complete fear filled her face and she and Shari started making desperate phone calls to Tiff's brother -in -law, Dane, that is a Doctor ,and my UofU Dr. on call , trying desperately to find out what might be wrong. Soon I was on my way to the Davis, E.R. (No time they said for McKay Dee), my favorite, (Ive spent way too much time there of late!) I have sort of a "Swiss-cheese" memory of the rest of that day, as was predicted as a result of a "partial complex seizure in the focal region". They immediately put me back on seizure meds, (more tolerable but of course much more expensive). I am much better but still in a bit of a fog most of the time. Bryan gave me a wonderful blessing on Saturday night and said some things that I have since come to understand. He blessed me with a good nights sleep and something about 'being closer' to the veil than I have ever been but it isn't my time to go yet, (Good news!!) I would learn things of a Spiritual Nature that would aid me in my teaching for the rest of my life." Tiff wrote it all down for me on a pad that I kept on my night stand as she knew that I wouldn't remember what was going on, (Understatement). That night I experienced one of the most singularly incredible experiences of my life! Way to Spiritual to record here in any detail! (D&C 63:64). In short, I spent the night in the Spirit World. If you will ask me about it in person I will be glad to explain if I am permitted, "by the prayer of faith". I have kind of been stumbling around between both worlds ever since. Hopefully I'm getting better? Please excuse by crudeness by explaining it as a "brain fart" but if you can't handle my 'sick humor' you'd better log off my blog early, cause I probably ain't going to change all that much!

My First Post--An excuse for "Family Home Evening."

My family will tell you, to my shame, that regular, formal, "Family Home Evenings" were not a standard in our home as they grew up. However regular Gospel discussions were and are, (Usually proceeded by me saying, "that reminds me of a scripture", in reference to some 'dinner table topic'.) Tara and Tiff and my wonderful Brooke have all prompted me to begin a blog. I also receive several requests a month from former students for an update on my life and ministry. "What are you doing?" (For the past year my response has been Jan Dicksons, Bryans father's, "Anything I want any time I want".) I get a really strong feeling of late that I have a responsibility to "expand my sphere of influence"-- (Steven Covey). After all the Lord just spared my life with a miracle for some reason!! And so with an excuse I will begin a 'public journal' and a platform to 'pontificate'. Please feel welcome to 'log-on'.

And explanation as to the title of my blog. Someone once said that, "it takes a village to raise a boy". I believe that! A few years ago I was meandering through my old home town cemetery and remembering all of the people there, (from their gravestones) from 50 years previous. I stumbled upon my old seminary teachers gravestone. No one in my life has had a greater influence upon my life than Vaughn Paxman. He was there when I most needed a "religious roll model". For two years I sat at his feet and drank in the Spirit. As with most of my 'mentors' I don't remember much of what he taught, but I will never forget what I felt. Carved into his stone was this scripture. "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath entered into the heart of man, the things that God has prepared for those that love Him." (I Cor. 2:9) That scripture has always lifted me and 'burned in my heart like fire'. Maybe I learned it from Bro. Paxman? As I continued to wander the cemetery of my past friends and mentors I began to contemplate what I might have engraved on my own stone when the time arrived? If I didn't decide to make an "ash" of myself. I came up with simply, "A teacher". As the years have progressed since that time I have come to realize with experience what an arrogant statement that really is. I have never really taught anybody anything, except perhaps somethings that I would rather forget! Finally I have come to think that the most presumptuous I would dare ever be would to carve. " A preacher who the Teacher, sometimes used." Thus more information than you probably wanted about the title of this blog!